The Women Of My Past

I never thought about being a nurse, a teacher, a police officer, a fire fighter or to have a career. It never appealed to me. For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a wife and a mom. I feel very blessed that my dream to be a wife and mom has come true. I'm living my dream.

I can't even begin to share what my life has been since I became a mom 20 years ago. It was nothing like and at the same time, everything I had ever dreamed of. Nothing had prepared me for motherhood. I had all these ideas of, "I'll... or I'll never...". But I quickly found myself eating my own words. But every step of the way, God put a woman for me to learn from, a woman to mentor me even though they didn't know they were mentoring me.

The first woman was my mom, Sabimbi. She is an incredible woman. She showed me by example how to love unconditionally. Let me explain. My paternal grandparents did not want my dad to marry her. They were prejudice. My mom is from Panama. Her skin is not white. My paternal grandparents didn't even attend their wedding. But my mom never told me this until I was much older. Growing up I don't ever recall hearing her say anything negative about my grandparents. In fact she would encourage us to love on them "when" they would come to visit. She would call them and put us on the phone to ask them how they were doing. She went above and beyond what anyone would do to love unconditionally. But we all know that children sometimes see things, that others do not see. I could tell that something was not right. Being a child, I wasn't sure what it was. But I realized it when I was older.

The next woman was my grandma, Abuela Caky. She had the biggest heart. She loved God like no other person I had ever met. I never heard a curse word come out of her mouth. She was the type that would give you the shirt off her back, she was very giving. She worked hard and put all her brothers through college. She was a hard worker and everyone loved her.

Tia Toya was married to my Tio Manolo. Tio Manolo was one of my Abuela Caky's brothers. She was the life of the party. She new how to have fun. She laughed and joked. Everyone wanted to be around her. She had a way of making everyone feel at ease. She was very eclectic in her taste of fashion and decoration. I was always awed how she could put things together and make it look great.

Tia Yolanda was my dad's sister. Like my paternal grandparents, she too was prejudice, but she accepted my mom. They weren't buddy buddy in the beginning, but with time, their relationship grew. They became close. She was a very devoted mom to my three cousins. She worked outside the home and kept her family going. She was the baseball mom and the taxi mom. She did everything in the house and never asked for help. She felt it was her job to do and I never ever heard her complain. I remember hearing other ladies say things like, "Ay Yolanda, dile a tus hijos que te ayuden!" Translation,"OH, Yolando, tell the boys to help you!" She would answer, "Yo lo hago por que quiero, y es mi placer atenderlos." Translation: "I do it because I want to and it's my pleasure to tend to them."

Mari, is my dad's cousin's wife. I know it's hard to follow that one. LOL! She married Fafi, when she was young. She as soft spoken, kind and loving. I never heard her raise her voice. She always had dinner ready when Fafi got home from work. She always looked pretty. She was all about taking care of her husband and her children. Everything else came after.

These are the five ladies that influenced me, early in my life. They all valued being a wife and mom. Now do you see why, it's all I've ever dreamed of? I wanted to much to be the type of women they all were.

I am not even half of what those women were. But I do strive to be the woman God wants me to be. I fall... but He's always there to pick me up. I just sometimes wish that I could just learn my lesson and move on. But dense me, I don't always learn it the first, second, third... time around. I'm sure all the these women, like me, had faults. I can remember certain times that my bubble would burst, but why dwell on those moments? What purpose would that make? I choose to remember and dwell on the positive. It helps me to move on and stay the course.

A wonderful lady I know recently asked for our homeschool group to pray for her. She's praying for an accountability partner. Now this kind of surprised me and it really shouldn't have. But I've always thought she was all that and more. Kind of like the ladies who influenced me. Her prayer request got me to thinking. I know, "Oh no, she's thinking. Watch out, her brain might explode!". Well, all along my Christian walk, God has sent me someone to help me along my journey. Sometimes that someone was here for a reason, a season and some will be here for a lifetime.

When I got married (at 18), I felt that I was mature and ready for marriage. After all, my parents set a great example. Guess what? Nope, you're wrong. Marrying my Knight was the best thing that ever happened to me. Moving away two days after our wedding was the best thing that happened to us. He was in the military and we got sent to Ft.Polk, Louisiana (for 10 months, then to Germany for a little over 2 years). Being far away from family and friends, drew us closer to one another. We learned early on in our marriage to rely on one another, to work things out. God sent me my Knight and he helped me to grow. We were truly blessed.

When I became a mom, who did I call? My mom and my Abuela Caky. Why because they had already been down the path of motherhood. They were (my mom still is, my Abuela has gone on to be with the Lord) wise and knowledgeable. They gave me great advice and helped me be the beat mom that I could be.

Then it was time for our Fair Maidens to attend school. "Oh, what to do?!" We weren't pleased with the school system. We couldn't afford private school. So, wouldn't you know God sent a friend for a season. She explained to me and showed me what homeschooling was all about. Did I learn it right away? Nope, like everything else, you never stop learning. It's an ongoing thing.
This friend came and went, but God sent others along to help me continue on my journey.

When I had questions that needed answers. God sent me wonderful Godly women to help me along my way. They always steered me back to His Word. We would have awesome bible studies. Not just ladies bible study, but couple bible studies too. We would go on marriage retreats and fellowship with each other. To this day, we still do this.

Having an accountability partner is a wonderful opportunity to help each other out. I say help each other out, because that's exactly what happens. Not only is the receiver getting blessed, but the giver is also blessed in return.

All these women that God has put in my life, have helped me become the person I am today. There have been others. Others that were only sent for season. They too helped to mold me. Even though these ladies weren't officially an accountability partner, they influenced my life in many ways. For that, I'm very grateful.