Thursday, January 17, 2008

Living With Lupus

It feels like I've been so busy lately. It's not a physical busy, but a mental busy. Which can be just as bad a physical busy. Either way, they both send me into a lupus flareup.

Yes, I'm having another flareup. URGH!!! I dislike getting flareups. I'm no good to anyone when I get sick. I've been putting off journaling about what's going on with me. I guess I kept thinking if I didn't mention it, then it would cease to exist. But that's not the case. The reason I'm sharing it is mainly to help other "lupies" out there, who might stumble upon my journal. But also to enlighten those that know nothing about lupus.

Lupus is something one can't control. It's not contagious. It's not something that goes away if ignored. Only God can cure it, if that's His will. I have lupus, not because of something that I've done or because of my lack of faith. To tell you the truth, I'm glad that it's me that has it and not a loved one. Should God choose to cure me, I'll be thankful. Should he choose not to cure me, I'll be thankful too. Nothing I go through could compare to what He went through for me (and you).

Now, lupus is an autoimmune disease. I have systemic lupus erythematosus which is the most common and most serious type. I should mention that lupus flareups get worse during a woman's cycle too. Lately, it has decided to "attack" an area of my body that well, has been causing lots of problems. I have been putting off seeing a specialist about it. Mainly because I knew what I was going to be told and I didn't want to "hear" it. I also hoped that it would go away on it's own. But that has not been the case. It's gotten worse. Lupus can manifest itself in many ways in different parts of the body. For now it has chosen to cause trouble with my veins. Not just any vein, but the ones in an area that no one likes to even talk about... yep... the ones in the pelvic and rectal area. URGH!!! There I said it! I won't mention it again, cause just the thought of it makes me wince.

I know that it doesn't help that I don't eat things that are good for you. In fact, I eat everything that isn't good for you. I have an aversion to most vegetables. Lets put it this way, I only eat, potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, carrot (only with dip), lettuce and tomatoes. I know tomato is a fruit, but I count it as a vegetable, otherwise my list would be too short! I enjoy eating pizza and hamburgers. I love Italian and Cuban cuisine. I don't like chicken. I prefer to eat ground beef and steaks. I only eat turkey once a year... yep... on Thanksgiving and ONLY on that day, not even when it's left over. I have a sweet tooth. I would rather eat dessert than eat breakfast, lunch or dinner.

I have started eating better though. I bought a book called, Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld. I had seen it in the bookstore, but I didn't like the title. I did like the picture cause it looked old fashioned and I'm into old fashion. :o) Some would call it "retro" but I like old fashioned better. Any way, some of the ladies on the homeschool support group I belong to were talking about it. So I decided to look through the book. I ended up getting it. It's got some wonderful recipes. Recipes that I would even eat. This book has helped me get started on eating more vegetables, even if I'm hiding them from myself! I thought that it would make a difference in my lupus flareups, but it hasn't. I've been assured that it isn't because of anything I've done or haven't done. It's not because I've had 6 pregnancies. It's not because I drink too much coke. It's not because of eating greasy food. It's not because of not eating all my vegetables. People with lupus can't control where it decides to "attack". So those of you that have lupus, keep up with your check ups. Just because you are feeling well doesn't mean you should stop taking your medications (which is something that I'm known for). I have learned my lesson, but now I'm paying the price.

So, I will be having surgery in about a week. Recovery will be 6-8 weeks. I'm not sure when I'll be online once I have my surgery. Maybe I can sweet talk my Soaring Amongst The Clouds into sharing her laptop with me. ;o) No seriously, please pray for my family. I know this will not be easy on them. They are such troopers. They have been through so much with me already.


Melissa said...

Thinking of you and enjoying your blogs. I pray that surgery goes well!

The Atavist said...

I admire you and your family and know that you will get through this because you are strong in your faith and your family is strong in its love and support for you. I look forward to 'seeing' you back here when you are ready!