Monday, April 21, 2008

Mom, How Did You Know?

One of my Fair Maidens asked me today, "Mom, how did you know that dad was the one for you? How did you know he loved you?" I was 18 years old when I got married. My Knight had just turned 19. How did I know at that tender age, that he was the one for me? I told her how I knew... he told me he loved me. Not just with words, but with his actions. Above all else, I was first in his life. That is true love, dying to self. That's exactly what Jesus did for us.

When we met, we were not Christians. So I can't say that God was first in his life or mine. But I can say, that he put me first above all. Through our courtship, I saw the kind of young man he was. His family was important to him. Being that he was committed to working on our relationship, he chose to "leave" his parents and put all his time and effort into our relationship. But at the same time, he still honored his parents. They understood that the time had come to let go. His friends were his friends, but I was his best friend now. He put me first. I couldn't help but fall in love with him.

Today, that kind of love and commitment is hard to find. The world pushes the "me" attitude. I see married people going out weekly with friends. Instead of going out as couples. There is nothing wrong with an monthly night out with friends of the same sex. But we have to be careful and guard ourselves. What is the purpose of those outings? Be sure it's not a time to get away and feel like you are still single. Are you doing or saying something, that would dishonor God, yourself or your spouse? Keep yourself in check. I don't think this only applies to married couples. I think this applies to those that are engaged, courting or single folks too. Remember that God is watching. Your future spouse could be watching too. They might be observing from a distance. What are they seeing?

We need to remember that love is not a "feeling". Feelings come and go. I chose to love my Knight. This is a choice I make daily, throughout my day. My Knight does the same. Can you imagine what it would be like if we don't "chose" to love daily? So many things influence us throughout our day. How much love would I have for my Knight when throughout my day, I've watched the Lifetime channel. The channel I think that men a bashed daily and women are ALWAYS the heroines. Not only that channel, but if I spend time watching a movie or program that portrays men as being stupid or not good leaders of their families. If surround myself around women who don't edify their husbands but complain and belittle them, what would be my frame of mind when I see my Knight? Things around us have a way of influencing us. So, I chose to fill my mind with things that I know would help me to be the woman God intends for me to be. To be the wife and mother He wants me to be.

When my Knight is home, I like to be home too. I value my time with him. He is important to me. He is the one I will be with for the rest of my life. So it's a relationship I treasure. When I fellowship with friends, it's during a time that I know he'll be busy at a meeting or at home working. If my friend has a need, my Knight understands. He knows that I will be with my friend in her time of need. He knows that he is first in my life, because I've showed him that with actions. He knows and trusts that my priorities are in order. That's how I feel about him. That's what he's proven to me too. Was it always like that for us? I have to honestly say, yes. Which is hard to believe because we didn't have Christ in our lives in the beginning. But we did have good examples, our parents. More on that on another entry.

This summer we'll be celebrating our 26th wedding anniversary. I'm so very blessed. I can't take the credit for it and neither can my Knight. It's all God. He had plans for us. He knew that one day we'd be His. In His infinite wisdom, He showered us with grace and mercy. He brought the two of us together. He opened my eyes and I saw our future in my Knight's eyes. It was God's reflection. Even though I didn't know it at the time. But God did.

My Knight and I are not perfect. We fail and fall. But He is there to pick us up and help us our journey. We are there for one another. That's how it should be.

As I write this, I think that she knew the answer to her question. She has "seen" the love her dad has for me. She has seen the love her dad has for her and siblings. I think she just wanted to "hear" it. She wants that kind of love too. My prayer is that God blesses her (and my other children) with that kind of love and commitment and much more.

If you are interested in reading why I love my Knight, click on the following links:
Thirteen Reason's Why I Love My Knight
Love Is A Verb
Respect Your Husband Like A VIP
In Honor Of My Knight
Build Me A Son
An Action Speaks A Thousand Words
Through The Years
Food For Thought
Thursday Thirteen #21: He Does, He Doesn't
A Jewel
A Lifetime Without You
Because Of...
Never Judge A Book By It's Cover
Love Or Lust?

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