Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A Wise Man Told Me...

Yesterday's news is still weighing heavy on my mind. I can't seem to shake this melancholy mood. I don't want to question God, but I wrestle with thoughts. Questioning thoughts that I don't even want to put into words. I know that this is satan's playground. But I also know that God is in control. That nothing happens that He doesn't know about. He allows things to happen, for a reason. I know that it all comes down to free will... choice. Knowing that doesn't make it easier. It doesn't take the pain away. The hurt is still there.

I'm so heavy hearted, that I can't even bring myself to go to church. No I haven't lost faith. I just can't smile and greet people as if nothing has happened. My girls went on to church. My Knight and my boys are at baseball practice. I stayed home. Praying... Lord help to pray for those who are hurting. Help me to understand.

He gently told me, it's not up to me to understand. It's up to me to trust and have faith. It's up to me to hold others up in prayer. I felt led to read Psalm 95 . I will not let my heart be harden. How can I, He dwells there.

My homepage is Crosswalk. So when I logged on to journal, Today's Devotional, "Virginia Tech: Living with what we don't understand" caught my eye. Hmmm, some would call that a coincidence, I call it God-incidence. Isn't it just like Him to reach out and comfort and love us. He knows just what I need, what we need. All I (we) have to do He reach out to Him... ask Him.

A wise man told me that we should live each day to it's fullest, cause it's a gift from God. My response was, "this is true, how right you are. But why do 'I' get one more day, when others..." He cut in and said, "it's a gift for you to accept, not to question." My Knight is right. I'm so blessed...

1 comment:

Bellezza said...

I know what you mean when you discuss God's Will, and not having a lack of faith, but still wondering why. We live in such a fallen world. I keep thinking of Job who said, "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh. Blessed be the name of the Lord." In all he did, Job did not sin by cursing, or blaming, the Lord. I want to look at Psalm 95 now before I go to bed. It's so wonderful to have met you.