Saturday, April 14, 2007

A Love Letter

Last night we had our monthly bible study group meeting. Only four of the six couples were able to attend. Earlier last week, I had gotten a call from the couple that was hosting our study. We had homework to do. Each spouse had to write a love letter to each other. Then everyone had to write a love letter to God.

I thought, a love letter to my Knight won't be hard. But a love letter to God?! Yikes!!! To begin with, I dislike homework! What would I write to my Savior? I'm not good with words. I have a hard time expressing my love in words. I can do it in actions, but with words... I struggle.

I feel that the word "love" is over used. I mean I hear (& I say), "I love pizza, I love this song, I love this dress and so on." Then we say (& I say), "I love you." How can that be?

To me love is an action. It's a verb. To me it's not a "feeling". If it was, it would be fleeting. Feelings come and go, they change.

So I started to think of what to write to my Knight. I realized that it was harder than I thought to write him a love letter. I send him cards, emails and little notes all the time. Love messages, "Can't wait till you get home. I miss you. I love you. You make me whole." Then I started to think, why do I love him? Then it hit me... it was for selfish reasons. I love how he makes me feel, I love the way he looks after me, how he takes care of me, how he comforts me, how his touch makes me feel protected and wanted. It almost felt like I loved him conditionally. I love you because... I felt selfish.

Something was wrong. Then it hit me... it's not "I love you because of what you can do for me." it's, "because I love you I want to do for you." I've always known that, but have had trouble explaining it. So, I show it in actions. Sometimes words are just words. That's why I was having trouble putting my love letter into words.

I gave my Knight his love letter... I shared my journal with him. My journal that's just about him and I. I know he knows how much I love him... action speaks louder than words. Funny thing is... we both thought the same way. His love letter to me did not say "I love you because you....". It said, "because I love you I will...". His actions speak louder than words. But I sure do love listening to his voice and hearing his words. :o)

My love letter to God was difficult to write too. How do I go about writing a letter to God, The King of Kings, my Savior? What do I say to someone who's love I don't deserve? That keeps giving it unconditionally? My only thoughts were, "Lord, I fall so short of showing you how much I love you. All I can do is live my life in a way that I hope glorifies you." To me, even that is not enough to show how much I love Him. I could never do enough. I often wonder, if what little I do glorifies Him.


Bellezza said...

What an amazingly profound post. I agree that we (I!) use the word love too much. It loses its meaning, and I'm going to be more conscious to not fling it around. It took me awhile to realize love is not a feeling. It took me even longer to realize that love isn't what you do for me, it's what makes me do for you. No wonder you and your Knight are blessed with each other. You have a perfect understanding of relationship, and a willingness to serve not only one another but Him. This was a really beautiful post.

Lady G~ said...

Bellezza, thank you. I enjoy sharing about my relationship with my Lord, my Knight and my children. I feel that we could all learn from one another.

It took me a while too to realize this. The awesome thing is, not that I know this, the way to show my love is endless.

I like to find new ways to show my love. Not just for my Knight, but my children and others too.

What I found interesting is, that none of the others couple really understood what my Knight and I were saying. They didn't get it. At first I thought, "Am I wrong? Am I missing it?".

My Knight and I talked on the way home. We felt the Holy Spirit giving us peace about what we had shared. That was comforting.

Emily said...

Great post Giselle!