Monday, July 16, 2007

Mr. Knight, Can We Talk?

Sunday morning after Sunday School hour was over, Steps, a young man we know and love came up to my Knight and asked, "Mr. Knight, can we talk?" And so it begins.....

Steps asked permission to "get to know" our Daughter of the King (who is 17 yr. old). My Knight explained to him that we don't believe in dating, we believe in courtship. Now this can't be explained as you are walking out of Sunday School and into the Worship service. But being that my Knight is a man of few words, I'm sure he got the point across. The great thing is, that Steps parents (and Steps) also believe as we do. :o)

I have to say, that my heart went out to Steps. It's not an easy thing going up to a dad, much less my Knight and asking for permission to "get to know" his daughter. My Knight is not a scary man. He's a wonderful, fun, loving husband and father. He is stern. He believes that their is a time for fun and a time to buckle down and do. Right is right and wrong is wrong. The Youth see this and I believe they respect him for it. Which is why, I think that only a young man with character would have the courage to come up and talk to him about our daughter. If a young man is interested in our daughters, but doesn't want to make the effort or take the time to talk to "the dad", then what exactly is his purpose?

What exactly is the "getting to know" stage. We don't believe in "exclusiveness". In the sense of no going out as one on one. We encourage going out in a group supervised by an adult. The adult would have to be a trustworthy person we approve of. Our older Fair Maidens are trustworthy to chaperon the younger ones outings or gatherings. The young man would be welcomed to visit our home and spend time with our family. You really get to know a person this way. You get to see how they interact with family members (theirs and yours). We encourage ministry work as a group, this way you get to their heart. This is the "getting to know" stage. From there you move on to courtship. Courtship can start once they have graduated from high school.

Well, once we got home and had lunch, we gathered in the family room to sit and talk. We talked about my Knight's conversation with Steps. My Knight asked Daughter of the King if she would like to get to know Steps or would she prefer he "scare him off"? She smiled and said she was interested in him. We talked some more about what is acceptable. The boundaries are there for their own protection.

I know all this sounds very old fashioned. I feel there is something to be said about the old fashion ways. If it works, why not stick with it. I know this works. Why? Because that's how I was raised. It worked for my Knight and I.


The Atavist said...

I applaud how you are raising your children. More people should follow your example. Teenagers often aren't ready to make responsible decisions and are driven mainly by impulses and hormones. You children are lucky to have you and your husband as parents.

Retta said...

I love it when I hear about other families doing the same thing we do!!!! This is an excellent post & I thank you for writing it.