Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Good That I Want To Do, I Do Not Do

I often ask why do I keep messing up? Why do I keep doing the same mistakes over and over again? I know in my mind and in my heart that what I'm doing is wrong, and yet, I still do it. Why?

In Romans, Paul wrote:

"For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing dwells in me, that is , in my flesh, for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.
-Romans 7:15-25

I will never be perfect... not until my flesh dies and my spirit dwells with Jesus. Yes, I know that I'm a sinner. But that doesn't give me a free ride to keep doing that which I know I shouldn't do. Is it my lack of discipline? My lack of self control? My selfishness? I know that there is a lesson to be learned in all this. I would just like to learn my lesson and move on. My problem is, I've been stuck in the same lesson for almost 25 years!

Which one of my sins am I talking about... coveting... spending money on unnecessary things. It's not that I want what others have or that I want things that are on commercials or anything like that. It's when I'm at the stores, I see something and then I end up getting it. Majority of the time, it's not for me. It's for a loved one. Most of the time, it's not even something that is needed.

My hearts desire is to change. I do good for a little while, but then I mess up again. Lord help me to be a good steward.

No comments: